HOME

Dreamscape, what the subconscious desires:

There is that sweet spot when you just start to wake-up but are still in the soft embrace of dream and your mind has not yet registered where you are.  The body is still held in the comfort of possibility.  You try to not become too alert so you can linger in the sweet desire. Maybe your mind hopes for a favorite place by an ocean, or the richness of the woods, but today I  wished for home, I tried not to let myself become alert, to fall back in the dream for just another minute. 

Where would that be?  Where is home for me? What was I hoping for when I did come into consciousness?  Today it was the anticipation of being with my family and a whole Saturday stretched before us to do something fun. That we had a plan, an adventure we were heading out on.  Going to the beach, on a bike ride, or getting on a train and ending in another town to explore for the day.  But the best part was that we were doing it together.  

Despite my resistance and wishing to fall back to sleep rather then face this day it did not happen- sleep eluded me.  Finally I had to open my eyes to the tiny space that feels more like a closet then a room that I am currently living in.  Everything that I own on this side of the world is within hands reach- no need to get out of bed to get a book, clothes, lotion, mala beads, a photo of my family, I can see and touch all of it instantly.  When I look out the window all I see is another tall building, housing hundreds of people also just waking up to this Saturday. What will they be doing?  Are they waking up in what they consider to be home?

A plot of earth to call your own:

I have not lived in a house that we have owned for over 10 years.  In New Zealand we lived in one of my absolute favorite houses ever, where you could see the ocean and its vast expanse, and watch the most glorious sunsets almost every night.  While living in this house I went to see a house that one of my friends had just bought and was moving into.  It was not nice, don’t worry she would say the same thing, it was old and in desperate need of repair, but it was hers.  She could paint a wall, or plant a tree and it was hers to choose.  I felt envy that she had something of her own. 

Am I safe?:

While being in London I have, for the first time that I can consciously remember, had moments of not feeling safe.  I had a small glimpse of what it must be like for so many people, but particularly women and children around the world that don’t wake up to a safe and welcoming place to be.  My empathy has grown for them, no one should ever, not be able to sleep deeply because they are afraid.  There are girls I know in Nelson that are in unstable conditions, but the true reality of what that must feel like to them became more concrete.  

Creating Home:

So why did I pick interior design school? What draws me to creating a HOME for humans?  What is required for the walls in which you live to be home?  Do you have to own it?  Do you have to feel safe?  Do you have to put beautiful furniture inside for it to be home? My belief is that no you don’t have to own it, we have had many ‘homes’ in the last 10 years. Do you have to feel safe, absolutely!  Does it require beautiful furniture, no, but it does require what feels comfortable. 

I will be moving this week into a 2 bedroom flat- I can’t wait!  It will have almost no furniture, but it will be a place for me to land at the end of the day, and call my own.  What will really make it a home? When my family comes to live there also.  It is another fresh start, and as I add things inside its walls I want to choose carefully.  I want to have a plan of the end feeling that I am creating in each small piece that I purchase.  I want each piece to be bought with consciousness toward sustainability, to fit inside a budget created.  This is a rental, and possibly very temporary, but I want to create very simplistic beauty inside for my family.

Interior Design:

What do I want to do with my degree when I finish the course?  I want to help others create ‘HOME’.  Does that mean designing a retreat center for people to come too and have a bit of ‘home’ for awhile?  Maybe. Does it mean considering sustainability through out a job? Absolutely!  Could it mean homes for families without, so that the children feel safe- possibly. I just know that the planet and the people that reside on it must be the top consideration, wrapping that inside a space with function, beauty and love gives them the opportunity to flourish- that is what I am passionate about!

Sunset over the Tasman Sea in Nelson New Zealand